But I'm so pastey!!

Try this cheap trick:  add a little sifted cocoa powder (unsweetened) to your body lotion and apply to exfoliated, moisturized skin.  I've found this works well with cocoa butter and the cheaper the better (I think bcs the less expensive brands tend to have a higher oil content).  This technique is tricky to master so don't wear white the first time you try it - but once you get it down it's totally worth it! Best of all it leaves your skin with a very soft exotic fragrance, oposed to that offensive "cheap pancake syrup" smell common to bottled self-tanners.